1. 18 August 2010 · 11:37 PM

    Leaving in about 34ish hours…

    “Moving on, is a simple thing, what it leaves behind is hard.” ~Dave Mustaine

    So… I leave in less than 2 days and yet… I haven’t started to pack diligently even though I will be out most of the day tomorrow. It has not hit me that I am leaving… yet. And it will not hit me, most likely, till I finish moving into my dorm Saturday afternoon and my mom drives off in my car.

    I think its weird to be leaving. All I have known is sleeping in my own bed and occasionally at a friend’s house or at camp. Many of my friends have already left for college and I will leave many friends here at home. It’s like a permanent summer vacation except time still moves forward. Memories I have about this place will fade into my subconscious and will make room for new vibrant memories of college, of many firsts: shop for myself, living away from home for an extended period of time, having to make new friends, being in a new place/culture/community. Maybe now I can walk around and get lost or do stupid things around town and no one would know. No more reputation to worry about (either mine or my mother’s) and certainly no more worries about my parents being mad at me. My room can be as messy as I please (so long as it complies with my roommate) and I can be a slave to my computer; but why would I want to sit on my butt anymore?

    I have done that for as long as I remember… now I can reinvent myself. Although I choose to be the music nerd that I was in high school, I can erase my past and withhold things I am not so proud of. I can hang out with different types of people and still be alright. I can try new things because isn’t that what we pay for? Ah yes, the education, sure… but we ultimately pay these people to be who we want others to portray us as for the next 4-ish years.